Jasen's Junk

“DND” by Semisonic.
Lyric Conversion (10/10/01)

DND
It’s a game that I play
DND
You can come join the fray

I like to play a rogue in your campaign and
I like to sneak around in your caravan and
I like to try to find the secret treasure
Hidden behind the wall

DND
Grab your books and your dice
DND
We need soda and ice

I like to invade the villains hide-a-way and
I like to save the princess and the day and
I like to be the hero and get the treasure
I know it’s just a game

A Minotaur swung his giant club I wanted to get me back
in the tavern

The minute I ran out of my treasure I wanted to get me back
in the cavern

Get out of town…

DND
Grab your short sword and shield
DND
All your wounds will be healed

I like to sneak into the Monsters lair and
I like to take the treasure out of there and
I like to spend it all on magic and armor
for my next adventure.

A Minotaur swung his giant club I wanted to get me back
in the tavern

The minute I ran out of my treasure I wanted to get me back
in the cavern

Get out of town….

DND
DND
DND
When’s the next time we play?

Also from the late 90’s

– LIVIN LA VIDA LEGO
– (with apologies to Ricky Martin)
–
– She’s into Lots’a Plastic
– This addiction takes its toll
– Open’s kits in fits so spastic
– small blocks fly and wheels roll
–
– She has her own opinions
– never builds the models right
– It seems to always happen
– most days and even some nights
–
– She’ll make you give her that red block
– And then take apart your ship
– You’ll learn to hear her crazy talk
– about a grey ten by two strip
– hundreds of parts to flip
–
– Oh, God!
–
– She’ll dump your toybox out
– Livin’ la vida legos
– She’ll leave your room wacked out
– Livin’ la vida legos
–
– Her heroes are all the blue men
– She likes to eat her eggo’s
– But she brings the white ones to bed
– And we’re livin’ la vida legos
–
– Came home to the smell of melting plastic
– I was worried about a major fire
– She was jumping over flaming lego’s… Spastic
– 3′ tall lego volcano with flaming spire
–
– She says I must be more carefull
– When I walk down to the sink
– She never picks up the last handfull
– my feet and legos link
– you never see them if you blink
–
– Oh, God!
–
– She’ll dump your toybox out
– Livin’ la vida legos
– She’ll leave your room wacked out
– Livin’ la vida legos
–
– Her heroes are all the blue men
– She likes to eat her eggo’s
– But she brings the white ones to bed
– And we’re livin’ la vida legos
– Livin’ la vida legos
– Livin’ la vida legos
– Livin’ la vida legos
–
–
– – – Jasen Stengel, A’90

The Temple of Blood
-based upon-
Chapel Of Love
The Dixie Cups
Written by Jeff Barry, Ellie Greenwich, and Phil
Lyrics twisted and darkened by Jasen Stengel 3/5/2001
Should be sung in light hearted style with a smile that shows your fangs.

Goin’ to the temple
And we’re gonna get desanguinated
Goin’ to the temple
And we’re gonna get desanguinated
he’ll to suck your blood too
and we’re gonna get desanguinated
Goin’ to the temple of Blood

Night is here, th-e-e sky is black, whoa-oh-oh
Wolves all howl, their on our track
Tonight’s the night we’ll join the dead
And we’ll never see the sunshine anymore because we’re

Goin’ to the temple
and we’re gonna get desanguinated
Goin’ to the temple
and we’re gonna get desanguinated
he’ll suck your blood too
and we’re gonna get desanguinated
Goin’ to the temple of Blood

Bells will toll, the-e-e moon will shine, whoa-oh-oh
I’ll be his until the end of time…
We’ll hunt the night while pale stars shine
And we’ll never be lonely anymore because we’re

Goin’ to the temple
And we’re gonna get desanguinated
Goin’ to the temple
And we’re gonna get desanguinated
he’ll suck your blood too
and we’re gonna get desanguinated
Goin’ to the temple of Blood

Mu- Ha – Ha – Ha -(evil deep laugh)-
Goin’ to the Temple of Blood
Mu- Ha – Ha – Ha -(evil deep laugh)-
FADE
Goin’ to

I wrote this sometime in the late 90’s and it was produced and played by 98 Rock in Baltimore.

I retouch Myself
based upon “I touch myself” by the Divinyls

I film myself
I want you to see me
When I’m photographed
I want you to want me.
I see myself
I want to be perfect
I don’t like my boobs
I want to get surgery

I don’t trust anybody else
When I’m photographed, I retouch myself
I don’t trust anybody else
Oh no, oh no, oh no

—begin repeat (loop 2 times) —

I’m the one who makes you horney honey
I’ve got the buns that make you hard
When I’m undressed there always laughing
I want to make them big
I need big boobs
For you to adore me
Think I would die
If you were to ignore me
If you would pay
For my augmentation
I get down on my knees
I’d skip the flirtation

I don’t trust anybody else
When I’m photographed, I retouch myself
I don’t trust anybody else
Oh no, oh no, oh no

— End Repeat (loop 2 times)—

I want Boobs
I don’t want anything else
And when I’m photographed, I retouch myself.
Ooh, oooh, oooooh, aaaaaah

I wrote this shortly after 9/11, and since then I have found it posted on other people’s sites. I was angry.

Mine eyes have seen the horror of the felling of the ‘Trades
Stabbing our great Nation with assassin’s deadly blade
The streets are piled with rubble as the image slowly fades
As life goes marching on.

Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Our Nation’s marching on.

A Terrorists attack on three large symbols of our might
Two buildings economical, and one was born to fight.
Four aircraft crashed that Tuesday morning, a deadly end to flight.
And life goes marching on.

Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Our Nation’s marching on.

Attacks designed to weaken us, instead have made us Strong
Our nations heros brave work inspires patriotic song
Let’s show these evil doers the extent to which the’re wrong
As our lives go marching on.

Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Our Nation’s marching on.

We boldly call to justice the doer’s of these deeds
The cowardly co-conspirators that made our nation bleed
we’ll hunt them to the ends of earth, none shall be left free.
Our Lives go marching on.

Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Our Nation’s marching on.

This got stuck in my head yesterday so I put it down in bits so it would stop playing.

The Rocket John B to the folk song “Sloop John B”

We launched in the rocket John B
Six astronauts and me
Around the earth and moon we did roam
Working all night
Hit a meteorite
Our ship’s so broke up
We’ll never get home

So seal up the John Bs hull
See how the Epoxy sets
Call for the ground crew’s advice
Let me go home, let me go home
I wanna go home, Please let me go home
Our ship’s so broke up
We’ll never get home

The first mate he got drunk
And ignored all that space-junk
The radar console blared a warning tone.
Damn asteroid stone
Why didn’t you leave us alone, yeah yeah
Well our ship’s so broke up, we’ll never get home

So seal up the John Bs hull
See how the Epoxy sets
Call for the ground crew’s advice
Let me go home, let me go home
I wanna go home, Please let me go home
Seal up the John Bs hull
But our ship’s so broke up
We’ll never get home
Let me get home

The captain he caught the fits
And airlocked the first mate Fritz
And then he went and shot Engineer Stone.
Let me go home
Why don’t they let me go home
This is the worst trip that I’ve ever flown.

So seal up the John Bs hull
See how the Epoxy sets
Call for the ground crew’s advice
Let me go home, let me go home
I wanna go home, Please let me go home
Our ship’s so broke up
We’ll never get home

Trying to use WordPress to organize the virtual junk I wish to share… lets see how this goes.